Chicken Cherry Cola

Little Known Fact: The ever-popular “Chicka Cherry Cola” does not actually contain any chicken. It is, however, the preferred soft drink of most domesticated birds.

“It goes great with escargot! Just sayin’...”

(Note: this picture and post was inspired by a request from my sister for a chicken. If anyone else has a request, feel free to email me or leave a comment!)

Hole in the Bucket

Happy "My Bucket's Got A Hole In It" Day! I hope everyone celebrated in an appropriate (and responsible) manner. (I'm looking at you, Henry and Liza - we don't need the fire department called out again like last year!)

Robot Parts

One of the things I love most about my job is the opportunity to be creative with some pretty high-tech stuff. For example, I'm currently using Pro/Engineer (a 3D CAD program) to design interchangeable robot parts. The idea is that students during our summer camp would be able to customize their own robot by choosing from a selection of heads, bodies and legs, which we would then print out for them in our 3D printer. Anyhow, tonight I had some ideas for parts, so I sketched them out and called it a blog post...

Able & Baker

Able and Baker, you brave little monkeys

You boldly went forth where nobody had gone

You showed us that spaceflight was safe for a human

And helped usher in an exciting new dawn

On May 28, in the year ’59

You were strapped in a Jupiter, shot into space

Were you scared when you first heard the rocket ignite?

Did your little palms sweat, did your little hearts race?

Did you know that the others before you had perished

When rockets exploded before they were done

Or when they crashed down due to parachute failure

Or baked in the scorching New Mexico sun?

Of course not! I mean, they were just little monkeys

And really, they didn’t have much of a choice

But Able the rhesus and squirrel monkey Baker

Survived their ordeal, which made NASA rejoice!

And what an ordeal! At their peak in their capsule

The monkeys experienced 38 G’s

And while they arched up over 300 miles

Our little Miss Baker tried catching some zzz’s!

And so I say “Thanks” to our little space monkeys

The lessons you taught we were eager to learn

You made it look easy, so one final question:

I’m good as a monkey, so when’s it my turn?

Memorial Day

Addiction

I spent most of the day

Just clicking away

Zooming in on each building and sign

And it seems now I’m hooked

Cause this morning I looked

At the game GeoGuessr online

And if you don’t know

How the playing should go

There’s no place on the Earth you could hide

It’ll plunk you right down

In a field or a town

Using Google Street View as your guide

And what you must do

Is search for a clue

To determine just where you could be

You could be in the sticks

Or on Route 66

Or some island way out in the sea

Then you pick any spot

On a map that you’ve got

You get points for how wisely you choose

Now I’ve got to get back

Cause I’m on the right track

For a high score - there’s no time to lose!

Star Wars Memories

I was five years of age back in May

Thirty six years ago on this day

When a movie took me

On a life-changing spree

To a galaxy far, far away

So now, though the years have passed by

And I’ll love the first three ‘til I die

I can’t wait to behold

The new stories unfold

When the Disney folks give it a try*

(*Whoops, I meant “do, or do not” - everyone knows there is no “try”!)

National Escargot Day

According to my source (www.checkiday.com) today is National Escargot Day. I think they might just be making stuff up at this point, but it keeps supplying me with plenty of drawing ideas, so I'll stick with it for now. (It also says today is Brother's Day, and did I get a card or anything from my sister? No! But she did give me a nice mention on Facebook, so I guess I'll forgive her if anyone came here because of her. Leave me a comment so I'll know how much trouble she's in.)

Anyway, Escargot Day. Here's a little message a friendly snail asked me to post.

World Turtle Day

It's amazing how fast these things sneak up on us! Here it is, World Turtle Day once again, and I almost missed it!

"Are you a turtle?"

Laughing Puppy

Little Known Fact: Puppies spend a good portion of their day laughing at their owners while they’re away at work.

“We spend the rest of the time eating and taking naps! Suckers!”

A Sweet Study

Some people might claim that there’s nothing to science

That little of value results from it all

But I’m here to tell you today there’s a study

Perhaps causing doubters to stumble and fall

You see, thanks to science, we now know the answer

To a question that buzzed round our minds like a gnat

It’s a question of candy, delightful and sticky,

And whether that sweet stuff will make us all fat

And guess what? It turns out there’s no correlation

Between the consumption of candy and size

Of your waist or your skinfolds or other stuff, namely

Obesity factors or triglycerides

Of course, some might question the worth of the study

Because it just looked at how often they ate

All their candy, and yet it just didn’t consider

The quantity of the stuff heaped on their plate

While others might question the people who did it

And hint that the truth they’re unwilling to see

Just because all their funding was given by people

Whose goal is to grow the whole sweets industry

And as for the Luddites who question this study

I’ll tell them, “I think you've been touched in the head!

So shut up and leave me my Snickers and Skittles!

I’ll stay thin and healthy until I am dead!"

(Today's poem is based on this abstract: http://www.nutritionj.com/content/12/1/53/abstract and this summary article: http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-05/candy-totally-wont-make-you-fat-candy-association-funded-study-finds)

The Great Blimp Races

Last weekend thought I’d have some fun

And do something I’d never done

I’d go and sit out in the sun

To watch the Great Blimp Races!

And when I got there, what a sight!

The skies were filled with blimps so bright

Their colors filled me with delight

All for the Great Blimp Races!

They started out all side by side

In a line a mile wide

And then the race announcer cried

“Begin the Great Blimp Races!”

The engines howled, propellors churned

And as they started, heads all turned

We screamed and yelled, we weren’t concerned

We cheered the Great Blimp Races!

We cheered until our throats were sore

Excitement oozed from every pore

Sedately, blimps began to soar

To start the Great Blimp Races!

With time, the cheering died down low

We realized, despite the show

That blimps, it seems, are very slow

The lazy Great Blimp Races

There was a crash an hour in

Around Turn 2, 3 bumped 8’s fin

And gently, both began to spin

Exciting Great Blimp Races!

But more excitement? There was none

I left before the race was done

I never even learned who won

My first and last Blimp Races!

Misty Hills

Tonight I tried something new: a drawing using only the markers. No pencil pre-sketch, no pigment pens for outlining/texturing - just blended markers. I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out.

Sunburn Dandruff Blues

The other day 

I spent a little

Too much time out in the sun

Without my hat

Without my lotion

My poor scalp got quite well done

Now it’s drying

Now it’s peeling

Got the sunburn dandruff blues

White flakes on my

Head and shoulders

Little snowdrifts round my shoes

My poor head

Feels like it’s glowing

Like a lightbulb in the night

With a breeze

The flakes surround me

Moths attracted to the light

Salt on pretzels 

Powdered donuts

Ain’t got nuthin’ on my head

When I sneeze

And start a blizzard

The neighbor kid gets out his sled

Some might think me

Too dramatic

But I swear it’s mostly true

And you’ll also

Know the truth when

Sunburn dandruff blues get you

Night Launch

I've wanted to try different techniques for drawing clouds with the markers for a while now, and what makes better clouds that a shuttle launch?

Koala Love

It's Love A Tree Day. This koala has the right idea...

Straw Hat Day

Today, May 15, is Straw Hat Day - the official day when men should stop wearing their felt winter fedoras and instead start wearing light, airy straw hats for the summer. Apparently this day also makes me start thinking like an old-timey hat salesman...

It’s time to put your felt away

And go for tan instead of gray

It’s May fifteenth, so shout “Hooray!”

Today, at last, is Straw Hat Day

Yes, Straw Hat Day, the day when guys

All realize that the weather dries

They doff the hats for winter skies

And now use straw to shield their eyes

So if you are a dapper gent

Don’t be a bitter malcontent

Just save up every single cent

A straw hat sure is cash well spent

Bunny

Little Known Fact: A small but significant percentage of all bunnies on the planet are actually hyper-intelligent, trans-dimentional superbeings. The rest are just widdle cuddle-wuddums, ootie-cutie balls of fluff. Yes you are, yes you are!

Go ahead. Guess which one I am...

Happy Birthday, Bubbles!

Another day, another card. I drew this one for one of my co-workers, who goes by the nickname "Bubbles".

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of those who mother! Here's the front of the card and the poem I made for my mom (the text was done with the computer and the branch was drawn in by hand).

M is for memories, most of them good

O is for order, you did what you could

Tea, just like you is both soothing and warm

H - happy households were always the norm

Everyone knows you’re the one I adore

Really I couldn’t have asked for much more

Mowing, concluded

You might be wondering, "Why all these poems in a row? Where are the pictures?" (Or you might be wondering "Now where did I put that remote?" or perhaps "What's that crawling on my foot?") Anyway, blame it on the mowing - my hands are currently curled into blistered perma-claws, and I can barely hold a pen, let alone draw anything. So anyway, here's a poem about my great day...

I got up while the sky was dark
Dressed and breakfast, on my way
I love it when my boss agrees
To volunteer on Saturday

We met and set our table up
Adults and kids were all around
They came to take free airplane rides
But weather kept them on the ground

And so the turnout was quite low
But still we helped to spread the word
Everything was going well
Til I got pooped on by a bird

And not a little bit, oh no!
My hair and glasses got it worst
The others helped me clean it up
But had to take a picture first

And then I couldn't go back home
To clean the stuff the bird did smirch
I had to go support my girl
At her recital at our church

Once there, I went up to the room
With all those folks, so debonaire
While all the time I'm wondering
"Can they see bird poo in my hair?"

Before too long they wrapped it up
(She did quite well, for what it's worth)
And finally I headed home
To keep on hacking grass from earth

And since I knew this job would be
Hard and sweaty, dirty too,
I went right out to finish up
While still adorned with residue

The mowing took all afternoon
The grass was thick and wet and tall
But I kept at it, inch by inch
Until I finally got it all

Hooray! I finally finished it!
Now I can shower, get all clean
Inside the house, I find my wife
Is washing sheets in the machine

So now not only can't I bathe
Because the water's being used
I also can't relax because
She's stripped the place I would have snoozed!

So anyway, eventually
I got my shower and my nap
And now although I'm sore I'm glad
I'm done with all that mowing... stuff

(At least until next week!)

Mowing, continued

First, let me say that while I still like my new mower and think it will work out very well in the long run, whipping the long, thick grass that covers the backyard into shape with a reel mower is NOT FUN! (And I'm not even done with it yet!) So here's a super short poem, then I'm going to crash.

Mowing long grass is quite hard
And my arms feel all droopy like lard
So if it's not hewn
Incredibly soon
I'm tempted to pave the backyard

My New Mower

My hands are blistered, back is sore

I’ve been out working in the yard

I’ve finished some but still there’s more

The going’s slow, the work is hard

See, up ‘til now I haven’t mown

The yard because the mower’s dead

And in that time the grass has grown

Which made me feel uneasy dread

And so I’m trying something new

I bought a mower with a reel

Out in the front yard clippings flew

And mowing soon held some appeal

See, this thing’s quiet, this thing’s light

It doesn’t stink of gas or grease

I could mow both day or night

And leave the neighborhood in peace

But then today I moved into

The back yard where the grass is long

And I could barely push it through

I hope this work will make me strong

And yet, despite the work and pain

A strange result has come to pass

Though some might think I’ve gone insane

I kind of like to mow the grass

Ray Harryhausen

Ray Harryhausen, one of the greats of stop-motion animation and special effects for movies passed away yesterday at the age of 92. Here's just one of his creations, the cyclops from the movie "The  7th Voyage of Sinbad".

"Excuse me, do you guys know where I can find the salad bar?"

Little Puffin

Little Known Fact: Even after several years of intensive education and training programs, 3 out of 5 puffins do not know their right from their left.

"Won't someone please help end the madness?"

My Wish

Of all the things that ever were

There’s one I wish I could have seen

I mean, what could be awesomer

Than pterodactyls? They’re so keen!

A pterodactyl, flying high,

Above a beach, all rocks and sand

I’d stand there, waving to the sky

And then he’d see me, and he’d land

He’d waddle over, awkwardly,

I’d hold my hand out, with a fish

He’d eat, then sparkle magically

And say he’d grant me any wish

Of course I’d wish to fly with him

Across the land and through the sky

Granting wishes bold or prim

To anyone who caught our eye

Together then we’d fly away

Spreading goodness, spreading joy,

A new location every day

For any little girl or boy

Alas, my dream is not to be!

The pterodactyl’s gone extinct

And when considered magically

It was a bust, to be succinct

So as a dreamer, all alone,

There’s only one thing I can do

I’ll spread the love all on my own

And maybe you could do it, too

Penguin & Pangolin

Today is National Cartoonist's Day! The very first Sunday color comic strip (The Yellow Kid, by Richard F. Outcault) was published on May 5, 1895! Here's my attempt at a comic strip...

Happy Star Wars Day!!

Soon TK-971 began to suspect that his deployment to Tatooine might not adequately fulfill his need for speed...

"Giddyup!"

The Swarm

The screams! The screams are never ceasing

The screams! Their volume is increasing

Although they should be dying down

As evening gloom engulfs the town

I feel my grip on sanity releasing

The smells! The smells are overbearing

The smells! They’ve almost got me swearing

How can they be so sickly sweet

And yet smell like fermented feet?

The pungent cloud has got a headache flaring

The swarm! The swarm is all around me

The swarm! I hide, but still they’ve found me

They never stopped, they never rested

My whole house has been infested

It’s like the waters reached right up and drowned me

So friends, avoid the madness as it swirls

Don’t host a sleepover for little girls!

(Why, yes, my youngest daughter's birthday is tomorrow! How could you have guessed?)

The Difference

Little Known Fact: Although they are similar, there is a difference between buffalo and bison. The difference is 6.

"Did you know that?"         "He proved it with math. It must be true!"

May Day

Is there any better way

To celebrate the first of May

Than making up a holiday

So everyone can dance and play?

(If you can’t think, don’t get downhearted

Here are some to get you started)

May the First, of course, is May Day!

It’s also both Law Day and Lei Day!

If you like chocolate, it’s Parfait Day!

And at your job it might be Pay Day!

(Now it’s your turn, so don’t be lazy

Make up some rhymes and just go crazy!)

We’ll start off simple, maybe Clay Day

Hay Day’s good, or maybe Tray Day

But wait, there’s so much more to say Day

You could kneel and start to pray Day

Read some “Fifty Shades of Gray” Day

Because it might be a risqué Day

Drink too much and start to sway Day

Poke a horse and make him neigh Day

Ride a sleigh to Old Bombay Day

Hide alone on Stay Away Day

Watch a film by Michael Bay Day

Send a long communique Day

Take a vote on Yea or Nay Day

Muffet calls it Curds and Whey Day

Those are just a few suggestions

Now make your own and no more questions!