Understanding Grandma's Gift

(My second submission to the "Understanding" poetry contest. I don't know how well I'll do - I seem to have a problem writing deep and meaningful and thoughtful poetry and come up with junk like this instead!)

I love my grandma dearly

And I’m sure that she means well

But the gifts she gives confuse me

Is she joking? I can’t tell!

My attempts at understanding

Why she chooses what she does

Make me wonder, is she planning

Or just picking stuff because?

Please consider my example

I’m a man of forty-three

And I’m six foot four and hairy

With a wife and family

And she gave me something recently

Atrocious, I’ll admit,

But she wanted me to try them on

To see how well they fit

And it’s just because I love her

That I kept my big mouth shut

And spent Christmas day in purple sweats

With “Juicy” on the butt!