Almost There

I've continued working on my first contest entry most of the evening. Although it seems most modern poetry is just free verse with no rhyme or meter, I decided to go old school with the very structured form of the Shakespearean sonnet. The first 12 lines are in pretty good shape, but I'm still trying to perfect the twist ending/final pair of lines. I'll post it here for feedback as soon as it's done before submitting it to the contest.