Uni-Corn, Take 2

On Tuesday I posted my submission to the Unusual Unicorn drawing challenge (my picture was of a eunuch horn, if you haven't already figured it out). I then waited for it to appear in their gallery, but it didn't show up, even as other pictures did.

This evening I got a very nice, very apologetic note from the moderator of the group saying that although she liked it, their group thought the joke was inappropriate for their PG audience! Specifically, if kids didn't understand it, it might lead to awkward conversations with their parents. (She also offered to send me a free T-shirt to make up for not posting my picture.)

Of course you realize what this means? I've finally arrived as a real artist!! I've been accused of corrupting the Youth of America and my work has been banned! I'm so excited!!! Plus, I'm getting a T-shirt out of the deal!

However, that didn't get me into the challenge, so tonight I dusted off my old first idea, sketched it up quickly and submitted this one instead:

My Daughter Is My Pusher

My daughter is my pusher

She’s messing with my brain

She introduced me to this game

Addictive as cocaine

The game’s called Subway Surfers

You’ve got to run and jump

Collect the coins, avoid the trains

They’ll knock you on your rump

I’ve played the thing all evening

I got a new high score

I’m not addicted, I can quit

Just let me play once more!

Unicorn Challenge

Over at deviantArt, they're hosting another drawing challenge. Each month they'll have a guest artist suggest a theme and then you have a full month to come up with ideas and submit them. The challenge for July has been to draw a unique and different unicorn. I've had some ideas, but nothing I really liked until tonight. Let's see if you can figure out how this relates to the theme...

Ahh-OOOOOO-gaahh!!

Dancing Date 1

A week ago I posted here

An offer to my wifey dear

I offered then to take her out

So we could go and dance about

And now the time has come, alas,

We went to a line dancing class

We shuffled, sailor stepped and spun

And even danced the Charleston

Vine to the left, twist to the right

YMCA throughout the night

We danced until our legs were sore

Our tired feet could take no more

And so, despite our poor technique

I think we’ll go again next week

Owligator

I asked my girls what I should draw tonight. This is what they came up with. Behold, the majestic owligator!

Desert Tortoise

Some days I find myself missing the desert a little. Then I see stories like this about a 3,000 foot tall sandstorm hitting Phoenix and the feeling goes away.

Anyway, here's a very quick, very rough sketch of a desert tortoise.

Fireflies

Tonight I was looking out the back window at dusk, just watching the fireflies blink, so I thought I'd try to share it. (And before you ask, no, my grass isn't actually that long!)

Machu Picchu

One day I’d like to voyage to the town of Machu Picchu

It’s too bad it’s on a mountain top and not some sandy beach-oo

That’s because I’m terrified of heights, but I’d be glad to teach you

Yes, I’ll teach you ‘bout the beach you will not find at Machu Picchu

(History lesson: the ruins of Machu Picchu were discovered by Hiram Bingham on July 24, 1911)

Hot Dog!

It's National Hot Dog Day!!

Spoonerism Day

Today is the birthday of William A. Spooner

He’d be older now, but he wasn’t born sooner

Of course he’s best known for reversing some letters

(Perhaps he’s lest known for reversing some betters)

Regardless, this leads to a day that’s quite strange

When the letters in words or the sounds rearrange

All morning you might be a lazy old slouch

While you’re chipping through flannels sprawled out on your couch

At lunchtime you could keys and parrots devour

And then to get ready you’ll shake a hot tower

But if you get cold while out spying a flyer

Just stop your word botching and go fight a liar

If learning ‘bout jewelry for chess is your speed

Just curl up at home with a good rook to bead

And then in the evening, a hot double date

With a pair of sin twisters who keep you out late

But whether you’re out or you’re safely at home

I hope you’re enjoying my penguistic loam

Ostrich

What can I say? Tonight I felt like drawing an ostrich.

45 Years and Counting

When I think it’s been 45 years

Since a small group of brave engineers

Went and conquered the moon

Then we gave up so soon

Well, the thought nearly drives me to tears!

See, by now we should have cities there

With big domes to contain all the air

Filled with gardens and stores

Peoples homes by the scores

And the children play nicely and share

So I hope that this poem will inspire

All those leaders I greatly admire

To use all their skill

Make Tranquilityville

Because that’s where I want to retire!

Happy Birthday!

Today's my darling wife's birthday! For her present I gave her a card with some money and this poem:

A card with some money

It’s just like I said

But there’s an idea

Bouncing round in my head

This cash has a purpose

Here’s what we will do

We’ll spend it on dancing

And lessons for two

So here are a couple

Web sites to look through

When you’re ready, I’ll gladly

Go dancing with you!

So I guess pretty soon you'll be getting some pictures or poems about my adventures on the dance floor!

Flower Ant

The other day I borrowed a DVD of old Donald Duck cartoons from the library. Tonight I felt like drawing a little ant in a similar style.

DNA Extraction

I spent a good part of the day at camp today showing the students how to easily extract DNA from strawberries. Here's a summary of the main steps:

Some strawberries inside a bag

Then mush ‘em till they turn to slag

Once pulverized you’re gonna add

Detergent, though it might smell bad

A pinch to tenderize some meat

Some salt to make the whole thing neat

And then you’re gonna let it sit

Before you do the final bit

You’ll filter out the pulp refuse

To leave a red and pretty juice

Then pour in ice cold alcohol

The liquids will not mix at all

But in between the red and clear

You’ll see a slimy mess appear

And that, my friend, is DNA

Collect it and you’re on your way!

Big Eyes

After work today, I had an appointment with the eye doctor where I got my eyes dilated. Now I feel like this...

Orbit Contrast

Tonight I just felt like doing something really contrast-y...

The Whole Tooth

My youngest daughter is no slacker. This afternoon she announced that one of her molars was a little wiggly. So she started playing with it. After dinner she said she heard something crack. It was out before she went to bed. I guess the tooth fairy needs to visit our house again tonight.

Soccer Fever, part 3

Argentinian people are sad

While in Deutschland the folks are quite glad

And you, my dear reader

Can now take a breather

From these dumb soccer limericks so bad!

(Click here for Part 1, and click here for Part 2)

Unwanted Guests

Over the last week or so, we've been visited by some unwanted guests. I kill them whenever I can, but more keep appearing! Oh! There's another one! Gotta go!

Skylab

It was 35 years ago today, July 11, 1979, when the US space station Skylab re-entered the atmosphere. Most of it burned up, but some large parts fell in the Australian outback near Perth. Nobody was hurt, but according to legend one jackrabbit was killed by falling debris and the Australian government filed the US $400 for littering.

So Tired

Now I’m back in my home where I dwell

After being away for a spell

And I should go to bed

But I can’t rest my head

Cause my pillow’s still at the hotel!

Light & Spotty

Not much time for a post tonight. I'm packing up and getting ready to leave on a business trip tomorrow. Of course, for me that means I'm taking a bunch of rockets and robots and other fun stuff down to Indianapolis for a mini 3-day summer camp. I'm excited and looking forward to it, but it means posting here might be light and spotty for the next few days.

Speaking of spotty, here's Spotty Cow sitting in a field! I'll be back at the end of the week!

Downy Woodpecker

So today, I was out in the backyard, sitting in a lounge chair under a big, shady maple tree, reading a book. It sounds good until you realize I was out there in the middle of mowing the lawn when the mower died and wouldn't start up again. The only thing I've found that gets it going again is giving it some time to cool down and relax. Usually I just let it sit overnight and then finish up the next day, but I already did that yesterday!

Anyway, as I'm sitting under the tree, I look up and there's this cute little woodpecker hopping around in the branches above me. It turns out she was a downy woodpecker, a fairly common species but still fun to watch. Of course tonight I had to try sketching it.

(If you're wondering, the mower did eventually start and I was able to finish the lawn. Of course, that cleared the way for a humiliating defeat in a family game of petanque this evening.)

Happy 4th of July!

We just now got back from the big fireworks.
Explosions were nice but the drivers were jerks
And now it's quite late, get the girls off to bed
While outside all the ruckus could wake up the dead!

My Daughter's Eyes

Though sometimes I might think in abstracts

With my daughter, I must face the facts

She matures, come what may

Like, for instance, today

She just got her first pair of contacts

Ruins

It's 11:30 (PM!) and we just got back from a family trip down to Indy. It was a pretty good trip, including bookstores, quilting stores, Trader Joe's and the Benjamin Harrison house. However, this leaves me with very little time to draw or poeticize. Luckily, I knew this would happen, so I drew this yesterday:

A Steep Slope

More doodling around with pen and ink...