Ones Upon a Day

Recently, I discovered a little writing contest at onesuponaday.net to celebrate 11/11/11. I submitted this bit of numerical nonsense, but haven't heard anything back yet. Anyway, enjoy!

Update: I won one of the prizes. It was only about $33, but at least I can now truthfully say I'm an award-winning poet!

The Tale of the Twocan

Ones upon a day, in a fourest full of threes,

There lived a happy twocan, and he lived a life of e’s,

In fact he lived quite nicely, he could soar and swoop and dive,

And although he wasn’t rich, he had the basix to surfive

And if you ever met him, when you asked him for his name,

He’d look you squarely in the i. “It’s Evan,” he’d proclaim.

Well one day to his fourest came a group of German gents

And down among the complex roots they pitched their little tenths.

But they didn’t set up randomly, as you might well suppose.

One called out, “Nine! Vee set up in zee columns und zeroes.”

That night they drank and danced a real, and sang and drank some more.

The twocan couldn’t sleep. He swore two even out the score.

So when they finally went two bed, he ravaged their supplies.

He ripped apart their bags of pairs and eight their apple pis.

The next day when the men emerged all groggy, gross and blurry

And found their food all eaten, well, they took off in a hurry.

The moral's this: You never know, with any certainty,

If you irritate somebody, how irrational he'll be.